Waking the Tiger, Buttercups & Letting Go of Bad Parts
Hello my lovely VIP
Welcome to Fri-yay! How are you? I hope you’ve had a lovely week. I’ve got no idea as I type if it will be sunny, chilly or something else. My goodness there’s been a mixture hasn’t there? Cookie has been grabbing all the sunshine and buttercups when she can, and I hope you have too. Here she is doing her own little audition for some sort of dog shampoo advert we think…creating her own sunshine as she goes..
Cookie wondering if there’s a dog version of those Timotei ads these days?
And speaking of creating your own sunshine, today’s Next Chapter guest not only has done that - he’s created the UK’s first… amazement park.
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S12 Ep3: From Boomtown Festival to Founder, Wake The Tiger: Graham MacVoy
Graham had what he describes as a ‘casual relationship’ with university, but then again, Graham has always done things ‘slightly differently.’ His jobs have included organising snowboarding events while living in the French Alps, working on the Boomtown Festival in Winchester and being co-founder and Managing Director of Wake The Tiger – the world’s first amazement park, based in Bristol which attracts hundreds of thousands of people from all over the world.
So, what is an amazement park and how do you get millions of pounds of investment when you can’t even explain what it is? And, how do you do all this when there is a global pandemic happening too? Some may say it would be impossible –Graham has a different story.
He believes it all comes down to how much we believe in what we’re doing. He tells us how he copes with rejection and gets back up time and time again – plus he gives the real story of how Wake The Tiger got it’s name.
Graham’s story shows what really is possible – he believes anyone can achieve anything and we don’t have to always follow the rules. But he also says it always helps if we’ve got some wonderful people by our side.
And speaking of wonderful people…
I saw this plaque the other day when I was out running/ahem…shuffling and I have not be able to stop thinking about it..
“We remember your smile, your laugh, your kindness and warmth. Deeply missed, loved forever.”
I didn’t know Bev and I don’t know anyone (I think) who knew her either, but all I know is I wish I had.
It was particularly poignant because I’d recently read the following quote and hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it either…
“At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.”
I couldn’t stop thinking, who was Bev and how did she create such a wonderful effect? Did she have bad days? Did she get cross? I can only imagine she did because she was human and I’m learning we all have bad parts. But how did she create such a wonderful lasting impression on life?
I’ve been lucky enough to meet some wonderful people throughout my life who’ve made a lasting impact on how I feel and I’m always left wondering - how do they do it? Do they not have the same churning feelings/insecurities/doubts/gnawing judgements as I do? How can they seem so… free?
A book I’ve read/listened to for the second time recently by Richard Schwartz called No Bad Parts has been a game-changer for me. For decades I have been battling with those parts - the mean ones, the ones I don’t like. The ‘take everything personally/the negative/the self-doubt ones.’ The ones who whisper and poke and I pretend aren’t there.
But after years of working as a therapist, Richard Schwartz began to recognise in his patients how all of us have these ‘parts.’ We all say it, don’t we? There’s a part of me that wants that/doesn’t want that/doesn’t know what to do etc… and the way forward he believes is not to fear these parts and we wish they weren’t there, more welcome them instead. Invited them to sit around the table with your other parts, welcome them in, he says. He’s developed a therapy model called IFS: Internal Familial Systems and it’s helping to change lives all over the world.
He believes at our core there are 8 c’s.. and we are all the same. I won’t list them all here but they include calm, curious, connected and compassionate. These 8 c’s give us our true selves/ inner-knowing… When we come away from them, it’s not so much us, but more our parts playing up. And all these parts have the same goal it seems, to in their own little ways, keep us safe.
The great writer Elizabeth Gilbert agrees:
“The most peaceful people I know, are the ones who have created enough internal space for all their parts to co-exist.”
So, following his instructions every morning and day, I’ve been writing down what parts are around that day. They’re a bevvy of little beauties (I joke)… anger, resentment, despair pop up a lot…Frustration, grief, disappointment - they don’t want t miss out. The big achiever, the keeping small, the people pleaser - they’ve all been dancing their own dance - but over the last few weeks I’ve come not to fear them and push them back down, more just letting them be…and I’m starting to feel that ‘space.’
He says it helps with all your relationships too, as you start to see others in a less ‘all or nothing way,’ more them and their ‘parts’ too. You can imagine how thrilled my boys and husband are.“It’s okay boys, it’s just your tired- grumpy- don’t want to pick up sock parts,’ I tell them, as they roll their eyes, while their ‘what book is she reading now part?’’ comes to life. My assertive part, meanwhile tells them about their socks - but resentment and anger are sitting back. I even tell the odd joke.
So, did Bev know about creating space and these parts? I don’t know. But I do suspect she had enough space to let her true self just be. I wonder if we can do this, if we can learn to know, respect and even love those naughty parts of ours, as much as the kinder ones. Will we all be a little more like Bev, I wonder? Or even better - if we can just create a bit more space, perhaps we could all be a little bit more our true selves - you know the ones, the ones we’re truly really meant to be.
And finally…
Next Chapter Wisdom of The Week 1
“We don't get and become what we want, we get and become what we believe we're worthy of”
Oprah Winfrey
Next Chapter Wisdom of The Week 2
Clarity isn't about knowing what you want to do with your life, it's about knowing what you want to do this week. You don't need to have it all figured out. You just need to know your next step.
James Clear
So my lovely VIP, whether your weekend is spent running through buttercups (hopefully), creating magic or having some time for you - I hope you and your parts have a lovely bank holiday weekend. Thank you to that part of you which chooses to spend time here each week. Cookie and I think you’re magical, even if your other naughty parts leave your socks on the floor.
Love
E & C
xxxx
P.s See you in 2 weeks (after half-term… seriously, are we sure it wasn’t just Christmas?)
P.P.S My latest book is out now and thank you for your wonderful reviews. You can click here for your copy.
“The characters are superb, and everyone will know someone like Hilda or Beatrice. It was ridiculously easy to disappear into and such a joy to read.” 5***** Amazon Review
P.P.P.S
We are so proud these notes are brought to you in partnership with the boxing charity Empire Fighting Chance who are fighting to transform young lives.